Dissecting The 'Vanderpump Rules' Reunion Trailer
"You're a worm with a mustache!"
Welcome to Gibson Johns’ pop culture newsletter — subscribe to get recommendations of what to watch, read and listen to in your inbox every week!
Well, it’s finally here. Over two months after the Scandoval started, Bravo released the trailer for the upcoming “Vanderpump Rules” reunion, where things finally come to a head between Ariana Madix, Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss and the rest of their cast. And, no, it did not disappoint!
It’s no secret that “Vanderpump Rules” has been appointment viewing since early March, but the stakes have ratcheted up with each passing week as the episodes took us closer and closer to the moment of truth.
First up, of course, is next week’s finale, which will showcase the long-awaited post-Scandoval footage durign which production picked back up to document the immediate fallout of the revelation that Sandoval and Raquel had carried on a months-long affair behind Ariana’s back. We’ll get a confrontation between the former couple, an intimate moment between the cheaters, Scheana confronting Sandoval herself and more. The teaser trailer for that episode rocked us last week.
And, while it’s been over a month since it filmed, the reunion is really what I’ve been waiting for. It’s one thing to film one-on-one scenes addressing the scandal, but it’s another to have to face the music entirely. With their backs up against the wall, how will Raquel and Tom act? Will they attempt to defend themselves? Or will they grovel for forgiveness? Will they present a united front?
The new trailer gave a good indication of the approach that they’ll be taking. As all-caps block letters flashed on the screen and a score straight out of “Dune” blared in the background, our lord and savior Andy Cohen asked some of the questions we’ve all wanted answers to: “How did this go from a one-night stand to a full-on relationship between the two of you?” and “Tom, you are in love?”
We see Ariana run the gamut of emotions, going from tearfully saying she “can’t think of two worse people” to have done this to her to declaring, “Don’t even fucking look at me! You don’t deserve to look at this,” as she points to her instantly iconic revenge dress. She also calls them “fucking rats” while getting ready backstage.
The very idea of Tom Sandoval doing his first sit-down interview with Howie Mandel of all people — much less the deplorable contents of said interview — indicated that he’s taking the wrong approach here. But the trailer for the reunion, which filmed pre-Howie, confirms that both he and Raquel have the wrong people advising them on how best to proceed from here.
Let’s take Raquel’s strategy of trying to dismiss James Kennedy and Lala Kent’s input as an example, saying they “can’t talk because they fucked” at the beginning of her relationship with James. (Their responses? Lala: “I wasn’t your best friend, hoe!” James: “I was a kid! I was 25!” LOLing) While this argument held a bit more weight when it came to defending herself against Lala’s criticism of her pursuing Tom Schwartz during the season, it rings hollow in this situation — and she should’ve realized that ahead of time.
Same goes for initially filing the restraining order against Scheana for allegedly punching her in the face, forcing them to film at the reunion separately (Scheana denies punching her, but admitted to pushing her and throwing her phone). In the trailer, we see that Scheana gets served papers on Raquel’s behalf (we know from leaks that these had “no legal meaning” and indicated that she was dismissing the order still with conveniently not enough time to allow them to film together). It’s giving theatrics, and it’s flopping.
The most telling moment of these two “diabolical, demented, subhuman” lovebirds not getting it and taking the absolute incorrect approach to this reunion came in their trailer. Sandoval says to Raquel, “They’re making you and me to be pathological liars.” And she responds, “I see that, yeah — even though we know that we’re not.” First of all, you both are. Not only did you lie about sleeping with your best friend’s longtime boyfriend for months, but during that time you also engaged in conversation with her about how to improve her relationship with your secret lover. But, even if they don’t believe they’re pathological liars, why not just see the writing on the wall and take the hit? Accept the label. Don’t fight it, because this is a battle you’re just not going to win.
At the end of the trailer, in his all-black outfit with sunglasses on, Sandoval does his best impression of a diva and throws a fit about filming to a producer, despite the fact that he’s done this nine times before. He’s at the taping of a reality TV show reunion. Does he expect cameras not to be there? He caused this, so he has to accept the unflattering attention that his actions have brought him. Instead, it’s “I need a break from filming! Stop filming me! I don’t want a camera in my fucking goddamn face!” Whatever, babe. Listen to James Kennedy: When you do something outrageous, expect there to be outrage.
While there was never going to be a way for either of them to come back from this world-shaking betrayal, there were (to me) obvious things they could’ve done going into this reunion to somewhat help their case: Own up to it. Don’t be defensive. Admit that you’re liars. Take the criticism. Grovel for forgiveness. Drop the histrionics. And, lastly, stay together. Show that, in your eyes, it was “worth it.” Otherwise, why put everyone through this? (Judging by lyric changes at one of Sandoval’s recent concerts, that won’t be happening.)
I mean, they couldn’t even get their timelines straight, for god’s sake! One of the funniest moments came when Sandoval acts incredulous when Schwartz tells Andy that he found out about the affair in late August, to which Lala responds, “Oh, no! Did you guys not put your timelines together to match?”
While Ariana will no doubt leave this reunion the undisputed queen of this cast, it appears as though it’ll unsurprisingly be Lala and James who steal the show. After all, they’re the true comedians on this cast, the two who were most “made” to do this. It comes naturally to them, and they thrive when given the space to go off on someone without the worry that they’ll be punching down or come across as mean. James Kennedy calling Sandoval “a worm with a mustache” and calling and him and Raquel “poo poo heads?” Inspired. Poetic. Soul-affirming. Awards-worthy. Art.
The latest episode of “Vanderpump Rules,” which would’ve been the season finale had Scandoval never happened (and a worthy one at that!), delivered a season-high in overnight ratings, meaning that the upcoming finale and reunion episodes could very well break records for Bravo. This is truly a new golden age for “Pump Rules,” and there’s even more to come: Ariana is doing her first post-Scandoval interview with Andy on “Watch What Happens Live” after the finale; Peacock will air unedited, extended versions of every reunion episode; and there will be a “secrets revealed” episode after the reunion on June 14. Whew! It really is all happening.
Read
“Notes From Prince Harry’s Ghostwriter” by J.R. Moehringer (The New Yorker)
“Alec and Hilaria Against The World” by Reeves Wiedeman (Vulture)
“The Ugly Spectacle of Reality TV Tearing Families Apart” by Louis Staples (Rolling Stone)
“Want to Know What TV Loses Without Writers? Just Look at 2007.” by Alan Siegel (The Ringer)
“‘The Kelly Clarkson Show’ is Toxic Behind The Scenes, Staffers Say” by Krystie Lee Yandoli (Rolling Stone)
“How Did ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Keep So Much of #Scandoval a Secret?” by Kyndall Cunningham (The Daily Beast)
“Amanda Batula Is The Most Normal Girl on Bravo” by Stephanie McNeal (Glamour)
“My Taste is Basic. So What?” by Samantha Irby (Harper’s Bazaar)
Watch
Anderson Cooper Interviews Andy Cohen
Andy hit the publicity circuit this week to promote his new book, “The Daddy Diaries,” which is his third book in the style of “The Andy Warhol Diaries.” (I read his first two and loved them — they’re knowingly filled with lots of name dropping and delicious tidbits about what it’s like overseeing the “Real Housewives” universe — so I ordered a signed copy from the West Village bookstore Three Lives & Company.) Among his press stops was an interview with his best friend Anderson Cooper for “CBS This Morning.” It’s a cute little package — nothing revelatory or groundbreaking here — that’s a fun weekend morning watch that will put a smile on your face. Who can resist Anderson’s giggle?
“Queen Charlotte” (Netflix) and “The Great” (Hulu)
I thoroughly enjoyed my binge of “Queen Charlotte,” the “Bridgerton” spinoff that toggles between “current” times with Queen Charlotte and her origin story as a young woman who married the King of England. It tells an endearing story and both actresses who play the queen are superb. The subplot about Lady Danbury might’ve stolen the show for me, though — there was something really progressive and modern-feeling about that character’s outlook on life that felt particularly resonant. Another plus of this series is that it’s a solid six episodes that doesn’t overstay its welcome or draw anything out too much.
It was exciting to realize that after I finished watching “Queen Charlotte” that the new season of “The Great” was waiting for me to binge, scratching the itch I have for rule-breaking royals. Nicholas Hoult and Elle Fanning are an irresistible duo. I’m excited to see what season 3 has in store!
Listen
“Sanctum Unmasked”
I’ve been binging this new podcast about SNCTM, a members only sex club that counted billionaires, Hollywood execs, athletes and celebs as members. It sadly doesn’t name any names, but I’m sure there are reddit threads dissecting blind items about who might’ve attended the club’s wild parties. Even without names, it’s a juicy listen! Listen to it here.
Self-Promotion
“We Should Talk” feat. Scheana Shay of “Vanderpump Rules”
I finally got someone from “Pump Rules” on my podcast this week! The opportunity to interview Scheana came via a brand deal she was doing with Smirnoff and, while I normally avoid doing interviews that are too branded these days, I took the opportunity because it’s tough to get time with our favorite SURvers these days. There’s a certian je ne sais quoi about Scheana that I can’t resist — so even her insistence on having a Smirnoff bottle front in center during the entirety of our chat didn’t bother me. She was fairly reflective about Scandoval, Sandoval’s accusations that she’s been capitalizing off of it and not initially being convinced that something was going on between him and Raquel. She also got emotional when talking about how Ariana has been doing since the whole ordeal. Watch our interview above or listen to it below!
Currently
It’s going to be a gorgeous weekend in New York City! Go outside! Read a book! (I’m currently reading “Traffic” by Ben Smith, the former BuzzFeed News Editor-in-Chief’s chronicling of the mid-2000s online boom.)